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26.12.06

A not to short reprise for the benefit of her: anamnesis of the year 2006

i'm cool. i'm gonna be fine. there is a girl - from the outer space, very far in Cassiopea - who once said that i look like a white, dazzling horse, doing emotional jumps near the sea. yeah. that's me. that's really who i am. a fucking white horse doing something near the sea. sometimes it's better to get drunk and forget that everything is allright. but not allways, you must understand. coolness is not a state of mind, is a state of permanent struggle. maybe you'll understand, just maybe. cos' everything makes sense in the light of evolution. we evolve, man! that's right. from apes to angels, we evolve. my embodiment of a loosen idea: just small talk. what a hell! growing is a dirty job. nobody wants to do it anymore. why should i? no ones knows i'm a liar. but i am. i am a liar. ask foucault.
life sucks. that's a fucking fact. i am weird but i like the way i am. some people like me in spite of my proclivity to the ordinary of life. i like those things people usually hate. you know, huh, when you say a bad word just because? that's it. that's who i am. a bad worder. some people like me in spite of that. they even say to me, sometimes, "i love you, prick". i used to laugh on that, i tried to put my atention on the simple fact that someone living, someone not very stupid, loved me, but i couldn't. i was too cold. too far from this stupid life. and then again i was right. i was allright. maybe i will love myself and those who love me. but only those.